we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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