Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
