Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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