i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
