2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I will be naked everywhere
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
