She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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