plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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