you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
