wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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