just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
