What did we do last night that was yellow?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
