all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize