I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
