i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
