We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
