Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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