yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
