Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i would punch a child for taco bell
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
