Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
two words: eviction party
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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