And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
