were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize