And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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