My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Randomize
