Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
