In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize