Jerry, you need to find god
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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