just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
