no. you can't hotbox the world.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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