I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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