After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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