he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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