Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
