this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
