I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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