no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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