i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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