I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
