Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
