Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
