Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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