after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
