Need sex. Gaining weight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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