i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
