Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
