Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
