i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize