Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
