i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
