people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
