So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
