Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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