His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
