Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
