At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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