I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
