By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
