Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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