i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize