BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
