Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
