i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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