So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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