therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
