About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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