I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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