I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
