what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
