Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm really busy with my period
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