Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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