I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
True strength comes from lack of pants
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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