We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
