it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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