Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize