My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
