Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
