Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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