I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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