did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
